A one-year journal maintained after my husband's death, "The First Time Without You". I chose to share my journal in the hopes of helping others going through the same grieving process. My emotions were recorded as I was going through the horrific process and I felt the need to share these emotions with others also going through the loss of a loved one. It helped my healing process through recording my feelings. "The First Time Without You" is based on a one-year journal maintained after my husband's death. This journal recorded my raw emotions as I was experiencing them, documented everything associated with his death, and elaborates on special occasions we spent together in life, as well as the first times without him. The journal is prefaced by an eighteen year account of our relationship and concludes with the ups and downs in the years which followed his death. I chose to share my journal in the hopes of helping others going through the same grieving process. I also lost both of my parents, six months apart, two years before my husband was killed. My daughter was only three years old when she lost her father and this book relates the problems and issues she suffered as well.