What happens when an accountant decides to grab life by the horns and try something new? Apparently a pirate named Dave, a lot of pastel fleece, and blackmail - just to start with....

Visualize and succeed, Oprah said. I was sure as hell trying, even if my campaign to score a job as the local weather girl had ended in a restraining order. Okay, TV was not my strength. But a lack of talent has never stopped me before. Which is why I've embarked on a writing career. I mean, how hard can it be to come up with a sexy romance?

Leave it to me to wind up in a group of porno-writing grannies who discuss sex toys and apple cobbler in the same breath. Also, leave it to me to leak an outlandish plot idea to a best-selling author with the morals of a rabid squirrel. And only I could get arrested for a jewelry heist I didn't commit - by a hunky cop whose handcuffs just might tempt me to sign up for a life of crime. Maybe I've found my calling after all.