This is the book dads across the world have been waiting for all their lives, whether they're on the verge of parenthood, or already knee-deep in kids
They just didn't know they were waiting.
Letting you in on the inside secrets that the 'real' parenting books don't dare tell you, this book will arm you with all the tips, cheats and excuses you're going to need to seem like a vaguely adequate father.
If you have chosen the right mother for your children
Simple ways to avoid being assaulted during childbirth
Why babies shouldn't watch Schindler's List
How to change a nappy in 17 easy stages
Coping strategies if your son becomes a nerd
The greatest lies to tell your kids
Whether it's possible to make your child less stupid
Tell-tale signs your teenager has become a terrorist
Using a series of scientifically questionable quizzes, flowcharts, checklists and celebrity advice, this award-worthy book will be quite possibly the most important thing you ever read, and will ensure that no one ever thinks you're a terrible father again.
Except possibly your kids, but they don't count.