This is flap copy.

In theory, you are looking here to find out what this book is about so you don’t go slapping down your credit card (or library card!) for some boring-ass book. You’re not supposed to swear in flap copy, by the way. This description is supposed to be enticing and persuasive. It’s supposed to hint that there’s something completely thrilling and possibly life-changing that you will get if you buy this book and read it.

So.

In these pages, you will encounter the searing true-life adventures of two virginal yet smoking-hot teen girls who discover the wild passions of Sven. Will they have a threesome Read this book and find out!

Yeah, right. I wish.

Really, this book is about me, Charlotte, and my friend, Frankie, and some stuff that happened to us last Christmas. It wasn’t anything amazing. Trust me on this one. But I, personally, am tired of reading about abused/drug-addicted/depressed/alien-infested teens. And also personally I think Frankie and I are pretty funny.

Actually, I think we’re hilarious, but that could be a me-thing. So if you want to read about some not-incredible-but-not-entirely-basic fifteen-year-old girls, then this book is for you!

That’s as enticing as it’s going to get.

P.S. Don’t get all excited about Sven.

There is no Sven.