I really enjoyed this book! I don't usually seek out thrillers but this one had all the elements I could've wanted: a fast paced plot, a main character you connected to and a cast of side characters that you just wished were real (except the evil ones of course). I absolutely loved this and strongly recommend it to any YA or thriller fan!

“No mercy, no hesitation, no witnesses.”

I finished reading this book two weeks ago and I’m still having trouble figuring out what to say about it. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it. I did. I flew through it. It’s not that I didn’t love the characters. I did. So much! It’s that practically everything I want to say about this book wanders into spoiler territory and I don’t want to ruin it for you.

Isabel Ryan is trying her best to reinvent herself as Bella Nicholls. Isabel was trained as a contract killer by Comma, one of Espera’s two guilds. Bella is an ordinary high school student, a civilian.

“She’s seventeen, she’s safe, and she got out.”
One day maybe that will feel true.”

Isabel is one of the best badass characters I’ve ever survived. She’s resilient, surprisingly vulnerable and all kinds of lethal when the situation calls for it.

‘It’s my trauma. You don’t get to tell me how to deal with it.’

Emma is one of the best friends you could ever hope to meet.

“She smiles like it’s nothing. Show her how she can help, give her the knowledge to do it, and there it is: joy.”

Grace is a librarian, which made her one of my favourite characters even before I knew anything else about her.

‘All I can offer is books and friendly advice, I’m afraid.’

This is a book about surviving against the odds. It’s about extricating yourself from the past when it’s holding on for dear life. It’s about control: being controlled, losing control and taking it back.

Isabel’s past is essentially layers of trauma and her present isn’t any easier. Not only is she trying to cope with the physical and emotional fallout from her life in the guild, she’s doing her best to create a new life for herself in hopes of having a future. Although not specifically identified as such, the portrayal of PTSD was authentic.

I loved that the chapter titles were in Esperanto as well as English. I loved the worldbuilding. I hated being constantly worried about the safety of my favourite characters but loved that, despite the darkness of this book, there was enough light to find them in the first place.

Favourite no context quote:
‘A candle can’t do much against a black hole.’
‘So light another candle.’

Content warnings are included on my blog.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster Children's UK for the opportunity to read this book. I need the sequel immediately!