Sex: The Narcissist's Secret Weapon

When my ex-girlfriend and I broke up, I went to see my family therapist. He asked me about my ex-girlfriend and how I felt and if I was doing okay. I explained that I felt bad about the relationship ending and I was mourning. I missed my ex, but I told him that I thought she was a narcissist. The first question the therapist asked--was the sex good? I found his question interesting because it seems that there is a correlation between great sex and people with mental and/or emotional disorders.

In the case of the narcissist, sex is used as a weapon. How does the narcissist use sex as a weapon? For starters, the narcissist is always evaluating you. He or she is looking for ways to pleasure you, to help you reach new sexual heights. Understand that this is not an attempt to make you feel good or to make you feel desirable. This is the narcissists' attempt to control you. It is almost like a drug dealer who gets someone addicted to drugs only to later use it as leverage. The narcissist uses sex to make the victim feel immense sexual gratification. The narcissist will do things sexually to you that no other partner has done in your past and again this is strategic. In some cases, people who have been discarded continue having sex with the narcissist, once the relationship has ended. This again benefits the narcissists. As long as the narcissist knows that he or she has a foothold in your life he will think he has access to you