As wide-eyed junior, Ian Higgins dreamed of playing cricket for Australia one day.

That was before he entered the harsh, dog-eat-dog world of Australian grade cricket, where his hopes and dreams were swiftly extinguished; he cricketing careers subsequently laid to rest.

As a form of catharsis, 'The Grade Cricketer' was born: a desperate, delusional 'everyman' that thousands of middling amateur athletes can relate to, even if they refuse to admit it publicly.