I've suffered for my art, now its your turn. So begins the tale of Ted Wallace, known (unaffectionately) as the Hippopotamus. Failed poet, failed theater critic, failed father and husband, Ted has his faults too: he is a shameless womanizer, drinks too much, and is at odds in his cranky but maddeningly logical way with most of modern life. Fired from his newspaper, Ted seeks a few months' repose and free liquor at Swafford Hall, the country mansion of his old friend Michael Logan, to whose beautiful and mysterious son David, Ted is godfather.