What I’m reading right now…
I’m currently trying to reread the 'Mortdecai Trilogy', Kyril Bonfiglioli’s crime series about an amoral aristocrat and art dealer who manages to produce sparkling bon mots will having his testicles electrocuted.
However, because I have a ten month old daughter, I’m actually rereading Moomin’s Make A Wish Counting Book for the fourth time today.
My favourite book growing up (why?)…
As a child I was obsessed with Frank Muir’s What-A-Mess books. The titular Afghan hound was just like me. Short and chubby. Dirty blonde and scruffy. Hopelessly optimistic. Forever filthy.
While the rest of my family were neat and tidy, What-A-Mess taught me it was ok to be disorganised.
My all time favourite book is (why?)…
The Little Golden Calf by by Petrov and Ilf was the first classic novel to make me laugh out loud. A satirical journey through communist Russian, Ostap Bender is a picaresque hero, a con artist trying to scam his way through a corrupt system.
The book I would recommend everyone to read (why?)…
I find myself recommend the graphic novel Y – The Last Man by Brian K Vaughn more than any other book. The story, set in a world where all of the men, bar one, have died mysteriously, has adventure, humour, social commentary. The fact that the hero is a social awkward magician with a tendency for smart-arse remarks is purely coincidental.
The book I wish I wrote…
I wish I wrote pulp crime novels in the fifties. The stories are so fun and so disposable at the same time. I love the idea of being able to dash out a quick murder mysteries for a fast buck. Also, I’d like to use the word ‘Dames’ more often in my writing.
My guilty reading pleasure is…
My guity pleasure is abandoning books. There is something gleeful about tossing aside a book, half read.
The book on my bookshelf that I have never read…
The Bible. I have six copies.
The book that never should have been turned into a film…
I’d hate to label any book ‘unadaptable’ because I’ll only be proven wrong.
However, if someone made a film of The Game it would create a new generation of sleazy jerks trying to pick up women with suspect psychological tricks. Only this time, it would sleazy jerks who can’t be bothered to actually read the book. And that can’t be a good thing.
My book is... $29.99.
My favourite place is... my back gate. It opens on to a park, a playground and a football field. I never know what I’m going to see when I open it. I’ve discovered football games, kite flying competitions and full sized carnivals behind that gate.
The most dangerous thing I have ever done is... playing golf with fire lighters in the middle of dry grass in bushfire season. I was 12 and stupid.
The first time I... realised my parents could lie was when I was six and my dad convinced me he could change the traffic lights with his thumb. He loved gardening and said that his ‘green thumb’ had magic powers. Lying bastard.
I regret... very little.
I remember obscure facts of no real important. I forget names, appointments and responsibilities but I can name every piece and the colour of said piece in the game Mouse Trap.
The one piece of advice I should have listened to but didn’t is… I honestly don’t know. I clearly wasn’t listening.
I love... hypocrites
I hate... hyprocrites
I wish... I was
I can’t say no to... apple pie. There is a Vietnamese bakery near my house that makes disgusting iced apple pies fill with hard apple chunks and wrapped in bland crust. I can’t pass by without buying one.
Yesterday, I... spent the day playing with my daughter when I should have been writing. Children are the ultimate, guilt free procrastination.