“I always wanted to be gwai. There’s no English translation, but it means good or obedient.

Val’s mother constantly body shames her. She’s been telling her to watch her weight since she was a child. Her message is so pervasive that you don’t really get to know her outside of it.

It’s no surprise, having lived with this message all of her life, that Val internalises it. She is thin but fears becoming fat.

Val has a secret. She has been purging for years.

“I always have to try and be gwai.”

This is an incredibly difficult read. Val’s mother’s fatphobia and the comments she makes to Val are relentless.

I loved the illustrations. The characters are expressive and Val’s struggle is painfully obvious throughout. Jordan’s personality, in particular, practically jumps off the page. I’d love to read her story.

The colours work so well with the story. There’s a limited, subtle colour palette that I found calming to look at. This was a nice contrast to the stress I felt at times reading the story.

You’re not going to find a magical everything’s all better now at the end of this story but, let’s face it, that wouldn’t have been realistic. Life’s not made of magical fixes. We do get to see growth, from Val at least, so there is hope for her in the pages of her life going forward.

“My version of being good is being good to myself.”

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