So says the not-so-fierce inhabitant of I Will Chomp You!, a tale of deception, greed . . . and cake!

In their funny read-aloud, Jory John and Bob Shea bring a fresh twist to a time-tested blueprint as their little monster threatens, reasons, and pleads with readers to go no further in the book because he will NOT share his beautiful, delicious cakes. Children will identify with the monster's high valuation of his possessions, and (importantly) will laugh at the silly measures he takes to protect them.

"A monster's reign of terror begins even before the title page: "HEY. GO AWAY." Turn to the title page and there the monster waits, blue-skinned and angry-eyed: "I WILL CHOMP YOU!" As the reader turns the pages, the monster's direct-address threats increase: "If you turn any more pages...I WILL CHOMP YOU, BUSTER!" Another page turn and the monster is even angrier: "NOW QUIT IT!" Until finally, "HEY! I'm warning you! You've been officially WARNED! CHOMP!" Unfortunately for the monster, the reader is just too fast, and its chomp misses the mark. The monster proceeds to bite, yell, and barrel its way through the pages, repeatedly trying to halt-by-chomping the reader from reaching its secret hidden in the back pages of the book (psst, it's cake). This book, written entirely as monster monologue, is all bright colors and sharp edges, creating a feeling of temper-tantrum immediacy that matches the silly-angry words. Shea's illustrations are bold but not too busy, giving the impression of fast movement and strong emotions, and the striped shirt-wearing monster is lovable in an ankle-biting kind of way. The fast pace, funny faces, and silly secret make this a great read-aloud." -- Siân Gaetano THE HORN BOOK