The life of an acclaimed novelist probably bears more resemblance to normal than most fans would like to believe. But every once in a, while, strange things are bound to erupt around those most equipped to document them...so imagine what renowned science fiction author John Barnes will do when he finds himself in one of the wildest hard-SF adventures to hit print in years. Barnes' college friend Travis Bismark always brings back plenty of great stories from his job as an industrial- spy. This time, over a few beer and coffee-fuelled chat sessions, Travis unravels tales about his current case; too tall for even a science fiction writer to believe: a Gaudeamus machine that bends physics to enable both teleportation and time travel, and how it gets stolen-twice; a prostitute who deals in telepathy-inducing drugs; five scientists in clown suits who pilot a flying saucer by day and play awful punk rock by night; and dozens of inventors who independently invent the Gaudeamus machine and are immediately contacted by aliens offering them their heart's desire in exchange for forgetting their discovery.Barnes' playful commentary on Travis' story and his own life as a writer and teacher is related in a surprising and non-traditional narrative that blurs the line between fact, fiction, and metafiction.