THE HILLS ARE ALIVE...WITH THE SOUND OF SUCKING

Maria von Trapp is sweet, innocent, and can sing like an angel. Oh, and she's also a bloodthirsty vampire.

When Maria is kicked out of the zombie-infested abbey where she's been residing for the past 612 years, she's forced to take care of the family Von Trapp, a rowdy clan in need of some serious discipline… or vampirification. After Maria turns the Von Trapp children into children of the night and marries the Von Trapp patriarch, the family seems destined for eternal (really, really eternal) bliss. But the Nazi Undeath Squads are on the march, intent on ridding Europe of bloodsuckers. And Maria will have to do everything in her power—supernatural or otherwise—to save her vampire brood.

Sixteen going on seventeen members of our legal team have instructed us to tell you, even though it should be obvious, that My Favorite Fangs was not prepared, authorized, licensed, approved, or endorsed by any person or entity involved in the creation or production of The Sound of Music film, or any version of the stage musical. That seventeenth wouldn't take our call because he was too busy drinking his tea—a drink with jam and bread—to weigh in.