'Trousers. That's the secret...Put on trousers and the world changes. We walk different. We act different. I see these girls and I think: idiots! Get yourself some trousers!'

Women belong in the kitchen - everyone knows that. Not in jobs, pubs or indeed trousers, and certainly not on the front line, braving enemy forces in defence of their country. Then again, there's always a war on somewhere, even if no-one really knows what it's about. And when money and enthusiasm for it are running very low, it might be time to let women make a stand, on the battlefield and for their rights...