The world is full of people telling you how to live your life. Sometimes the advice-givers fall ever-so-slightly short themselves.

Bestselling author Zac Bissonnette has gathered more than seventy-five jaw-dropping gems, including risk-management advice from the man who triggered the world’s largest hedge fund collapse and tips from gay-prostitute-patronizing pastor Ted Haggard on how to build a marriage that lasts a lifetime. The result will keep you smiling while you glean all the wisdom you need to build the life you want . . . if only you can follow it better than the people who gave it.

• “When you know what you are talking about, others will follow you, because it’s safe to follow you.” —Lehman Brothers CEO Richard Fuld, 2006

• “I think the most important thing is restore a sense of idealism and end the cynicism.” —future Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich, 2002

• “The day you take complete responsibility for yourself, the day you stop making any excuse, that’s the day you start to the top.” —O.J. Simpson, 1975