An “outrageous, profane, hilarious, sexy and all kinds of wacky” romantic comedy from the*New York* Times bestselling author of Size Matters (Michelle Rowen, national bestselling author).

What happens when an accountant decides to grab life by the horns and try something new? Apparently a pirate named Dave, a lot of pastel fleece, and blackmail—just to start with . . .

Visualize and succeed, Oprah said. I was sure as hell trying, even if my campaign to score a job as the local weather girl had ended in a restraining order. Okay, TV was not my strength. But a lack of talent has never stopped me before. Which is why I’ve embarked on a writing career. I mean, how hard can it be to come up with a sexy romance?

Leave it to me to wind up in a group of porno writing grannies who discuss sex toys and apple cobbler in the same breath. Also leave it to me to leak an outlandish plot idea to a bestselling author with the morals of a rabid squirrel. And only I could get arrested for a jewelry heist I didn’t commit—by a hunky cop whose handcuffs just might tempt me to sign up for a life of crime. Maybe I’ve found my calling after all . . .

“A zany over-the-top rompfest.”—Lexi George, author of Demon Hunting with a Sexy Ex

“The most f*cked-up bag of wonderful crazy ever.”—Dear Author

“If readers are in the mood for hilarious kinkiness woven through a fun romance, then this is the book to try.”—Long and Short Reviews (4 stars)