You don’t have to change any diapers here. We don’t go back that far.

Sit back and wonder what Schizophrenic was like as a college dropout. What happened to Harrier after he won the Nobel Peace Prize. How Multipurpose rose to become one of the greatest weight-loss gurus the universe had ever come to trust.

Because none of that actually happened. Cooler junk did, though. Like Multipurpose eating an entire bagel. Singlehandedly. Read about the history of your favorite In a Galaxy Far, Far AwRy jackasses: how they became who they are today. Who used to work as a recharge station attendant? Who set fire to a pile of old laundry? Whose urine smells most like asparagus?

Or don’t. Don’t read about it. But you’ll always wonder about that asparagus urine. They all do.

They all do.