Nonmonogamy can assume many shapes, none of which can claim to be a “safe” model of intimacy. Even the most casual of connections requires trust, and where there is trust, there is the potential for betrayal. Intimacy, exclusive or otherwise, can be exploratory or confined, collaborative or autonomous, but one thing it can never be is risk free.

Yes, there is cheating in nonmonogamous relationships. There are other forms of betrayal, too: the cliquish injustices of in-group bullying, the violation of having personal information shared by a trusted partner, the humiliation of seeing someone who claimed to love you “trade up” for a partner with more social, sexual or plain old economic capital. Trust can be broken, and in turn break people, in a great number of ways.

Nonomongamy and Betrayal not only unravels the varieties of betrayal that can occur in nonomongamy, but explores pathways to recognition and healing.