Welcome to Dòchas, Scotland, a place that since 1437 and due to a quirk of fate (not to mention the whim of a six-year-old newly crowned King) is the centre of all things weird, wonderful and occasionally stomach churning. Inhabitants include various religious cults, vigilantes, aliens, spies, mystical beings, werewolves and evil scientists hell bent on unleashing potentially earth ending threats or finding new flavours of ice cream. The only people who stand in the way of the chaos are a small, and terribly overworked local police force.

When a house full of dead people encased in various giant baked goods is discovered, Detective Inspector Pontius Smith and his partner Detective Constable Robert Lawson take on a case which involves an occult cookery book, glowing red eyes, L'affaire des Poisons and custard slices.