Wentworth Wellington Hall (formerly Bob) has officially upgraded his entire existence. Next Tuesday at precisely 3:17pm he'll acquire a monocle while wearing a double‑breasted blue blazer, yellow long johns, and purple penny loafers, a combination so powerful it makes ladies faint and strong men whimper like startled turtles. He wasn't quite certain if taking 50 hits of Grateful Dead LSD, a huge ball of Magic Psilocybin Mushrooms and Very Pure DMT at the same time was the grandest idea he'd ever had. He'll find out sooner rather than later. Moments later, reality malfunctioned. Earthquakes tap‑danced through his living room, the sky turned purple, rain went green, and a ten‑foot orange woman with a tail and mustache skateboarded past Superman as he fled a winged kryptonite moose. Then everything dissolved into infinite darkness and a voice whispered, "Wentworth, you have entered complete nothingness." Bob