Gifted kid from a troubled corner of the country. Army Ranger. Heroin addict. Wilderness therapist. Axe-throwing sage. Law school dropout. Security guard with a master's degree. My life was never a straight line; it was a chaotic spiral of near-deaths, absurdity, and fleeting redemption. From hiding in trunks from drug dealers as a teenager, surviving Army Ranger School—twice—and detoxing in a warzone, to coaching blind people in axe throwing and navigating hurricanes and bureaucracies, I kept looking for a place in a world that didn't seem to have room for me.

This isn't the story where addiction becomes enlightenment or trauma magically turns into wisdom. This is a messy, ongoing battle—a brutal, honest look at survival, existential freedom, and the daily negotiation with my demons. Sartre called it radical freedom; I call it just another Tuesday. If you're tired of redemption arcs and miracle cures, this memoir is for you. I didn't write it from the mountaintop; I wrote it from the trenches, and sometimes I still go back to visit.

I'm not healed. Not whole. But I'm here. And that counts for something.